A really cheesy entry.

Realize now that when your heart breaks, you got to fight like hell to make sure you're still alive. Because you are. And that pain you feel? That's life. The confusion and fear? That's there to remind you that somewhere out there is something better, and that something is worth fighting for.

- Nathan Scott, One Tree Hill

One Tree Hill is one of my, if not the most, favourite shows in the entire world. It's just like real life. . . with more drama. I think this quote is the one that I always go back to. No, not because I'm perpetually broken hearted (Lol. So maybe I am) but because everytime I read it, I am reminded that I have everything to look forward to.

I guess I've always been the Romantic type of girl. I've always believed in fairy tales and the power of true love. Romantic love, I mean. Fast forward to almost nineteen years later. . . I still haven't felt that "love". There are times when I feel cynical and bitter, and there are times when I wonder if what I'm looking for even exists. But I guess in the end, it all comes back to one thing: Faith.

I have faith that someday it's going to happen t me and my love story will be epic. I believe that someone is out there, and that someone is going to be so worth all the heartaches and all the wait. Everything will fall into place at the right time, even though I myself am not sure when that right time is.

I have everything to look forward too. The first meeting, first glances, first date. Walking side by side each other, random textings and conversations, car rides. . .The first kiss. Someday I'll get to experience all that too.

For a kiss to be really good, you want it to mean something. You want it to be with someone you can't get out of your head. So that when your lips finally touch, you feel it everywhere. A kiss so hot & so deep, you never want to come up for air. You can't cheat your first kiss. Trust me, you don't. Cause when you find that right person for a first kiss, it's everything.

A quote taken from Tumblr, which I believe to be true. I've had several chances for that"first kiss" and whenever the opportunity presents itself, I tend to shy away. I want that first kiss to be special. I want that feet popping moment like the one in Princess Diaries. I don't want it to be out of drunkeness with a guy who won't remember my name in the morning.

That's why I'm waiting. I know I'm missing out on that "kissing experience" but more than it being perfect, I want it to be special. It will happen at the right time. Things will fall into place at the right time. Call me an optimistic fool, but that's what I do believe in.

So for now I'm going to stop rushing in to things. I'm going to stop looking for love and I'm going to start letting it find me. I'm going to love myself now, do whatever the hell I want to do. It's easier said than done, I know that. But now I have this blog entry to go back to whenever I'm feeling cynical again, or bitter (Especially when I see couples around town. Piss off. Hahaha joke).

I have to focus on The Plan. The straight A's for this semester. I slacked off big time last week, and now I have to work extra hard. I can do this. I can keep moving forward. It's not going to be easy, but that's life.I have to keep fighting. I guess I'm smarter now. I now know that I have every reason to smile.